Since she is so clearly under financial pressure, should I take the opportunity to tell her I have made inquiries as to her next vehicle?
No. You are under no obligation to give W a play-by-play account of your activities. Your main goal is to firewall your finances and that includes getting rid of the truck. Then tell her after the fact since the lease is under your name, right? Yep, W is feeling the squeeze financially which is probably why she is not putting money into the joint account...it wouldn't surprise me if she's given some of the money to support OM.
On to a different topic. I thought about the home makeover situation. Here's a suggestion: Get brand new bed sheets and bed cover now if you can. It seems to me that most women have an emotional attachment to the bedroom. If you change the whole look of the bedroom, it will shock her into the realization that you are moving on. That is a great example of detaching and dropping the rope.
