I can relate to what your C was saying. My C and I have worked very hard in the area of "red flags" when new people come in my life. I'm not just talking about a new romantic R but really anybody that is "new" in my life post divorce. Logically I know if I am always looking for "red flags" I am probably missing out on the good side of somebody new but it's not always easy to put that logic into play.
It's like saying... gee, you are a nice person and I find you interesting and kind but you can't be my friend because you have a cat and I don't like cats. The cat must be a red flag. It's the truest form of self insulation and one that is very challenging to overcome.
I can't say how to do it exactly because I am still figuring it out myself. I guess the fact that we realize this "flaw" means we are farther along than we think.
