I have read your posts on some of the same threads I usually post on; Dan, Pinhead, etc. You have some really good advice and insights. You seem, to me, to be one of the naturals at this.
I have read your thread and followed along from the beginning. You're right, all of this would be shocking if it wasn't so common.
I don't understand this, though:
Quote:
Dude you are an inspirational figure.
I'm serious. I have made so many mistakes and have been afraid of doing what I was told by the vets. The only inspiration I have given people is what not to do. If that helps then I guess that's a good thing.
I am getting there. When I finally started exposing her lies to family and friends, she went bat-sh!t crazy. She was livid. Said I was lying to them and throwing her under the bus to make her look bad and to turn everyone against her. I have done a better job of staying in control and not arguing with her, validating her feeling and calling B.S. when needed. I have been to see a L and we are filling out paperwork. Nothing has been filed yet and I'm still unsure(scared) of doing so. That being said, I realize that only now, almost a year after the bomb, she is finally feeling some consequences of her actions. The kids came home on the first day of school and asked if she and the super were dating. Her mom hung up the phone on her when she told her she was staying away from the house all weekend to go work at a bar out of town. Her sisters have told her she needs to stay home with her H and kids and fix things, she is not 21yo anymore and has responsibilities to her family.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is her house of cards (lies) is starting to tumble, and I know part of the reason is the things I have finally done to expose and not put up with crappy behavior from her. I would have been in much better shape if I would have done it sooner. Fear held me back. Fear is keeping me undecided about actually filing. Not good, I know. Doing the hard things is working. Even if she doesn't decide to come back, things would be better than they are now. I have no doubt.
Puppy, Sandi, Rob, Gucci, Coach, Greek, Steve, etc. are all right. They all tell us this stuff when we first get here but we all think our version of the sitch is different. There are variances but, at the core, they are all pretty much the same. We don't do what they tell us, yet they keep coming back and trying to explain to us why, if anything will work, what they are telling us to do will. It's hard to hear and it sucks. I didn't listen. Now here I am. Still not in a very good place.
But I think, finally, I am getting there.
The rings are off and I am pressing forward. Probably not as fast as I should. I continue to get support here from LSG, Pigskin, Dan, Pinhead, and others. I wish I didn't need it so much but, right now, I do.
Thanks to all and thank you, Goodman, for following along. Maybe we can help each other. That's what we're all her for, right?
