Thats the thing. I am doing what is working. It is just every so often she sucks me into R talk. Thats when it seems to go down hill.
I am just to the point I want to tell W, knock it off with the past 10 years crap. Show her what I do read and why she and I act the way we do. She did see and ask me what I was reading last night. I said its an article on PEA, love and lust. She ask what is that, which I tried to stay vague and say its the attraction of people to each other. She then said why would you read that and sort of stay distant till we went to bed.
Last edited by CPCajun; 08/20/1004:13 PM.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
Well, her post seems fairly positive. Not sure what to tell you CP other than you have to decide what you want and then press forward to getting there.
You are not talking to her. You were grumpy and avoided bringing it up, you weren't honest with her.
Quote:
She then said why would you read that and sort of stay distant till we went to bed.
Reading a article about attraction then you blow her off.
How this working for ya?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
You are not talking to her. You were grumpy and avoided bringing it up, you weren't honest with her.
Quote:
She then said why would you read that and sort of stay distant till we went to bed.
Reading a article about attraction then you blow her off.
How this working for ya?
hmmm... Your right. No that is not working. :doh:
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
My job is going to crap, and the office branch is closing down in less than a year.(Joy)
The good: Found another job that is a shoe in. I have connections and could get hired to fill the position.
The Bad: This is moving us about 1.5 to 2 hours away to where OM was living. W said to get the job as it is a job. She really has no clue geographic wise to the where abouts on the relation of the two cities, with the exception that they are both in the same state.
I did tell her I want the job, but given the circumstances, I didn't feel comfortable about the move. Its not that W would run to him, it that slight possibility that W and OM could run into each other. I know some other sitch's have EA or PA occuring in the same town. Should I even let this get to me? Should I do what's best for the family(job and financial wise) and continue to DBing? We are doing good in working on the marriage, but its still so soon given what has happened. Argh....
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
What is more uncomfortable... not having a job at all and struggling financially more than you already are OR moving to where the OM lives?
If you are married or not you still have to be able to support yourself so I would say go where the job is. If your W is true in her desire to rebuild your M it really shouldn't matter if the OM lives next door. The boundaries you have put in place (RE: your W and OM) should hold true no matter where you live. If your W violates those boundaries then you know what you have to do as far as the marriage goes (end it).
What is more uncomfortable... not having a job at all and struggling financially more than you already are OR moving to where the OM lives?
If you are married or not you still have to be able to support yourself so I would say go where the job is. If your W is true in her desire to rebuild your M it really shouldn't matter if the OM lives next door. The boundaries you have put in place (RE: your W and OM) should hold true no matter where you live. If your W violates those boundaries then you know what you have to do as far as the marriage goes (end it).
That is true. But as Puppy put it, Affairs are an addiction.
Is like a smoker that quits. He or she may not have the urge to get a pack of smokes. But, if someone leaves one out in front of him, Tten the ex-smoker has that temptation now. True, if W(or the smoker) really has the strengh and honor to not go towards temptation, then there should be no problem.
...but temptation is always there...
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
This is going to be one of the VERY few (only?) times I've ever disagreed with CityGirl. Anyone whose autosig ends with "Rocky road now Back Together 8/1/10"
doesn't need to be plantin' their kerosene down 2 hours away, right next to the match factory, on 8/25/10.
CPC, how specialized is your line of work? You mean you can't find ANYTHING where you are, or within a 1 1/2 to 2-hour arc in any direction OTHER than towards OM's town??
Sorry, I think this is foolish, unless I was down to NO other options. And even then, I would hit my knees and implore God to honor my faith with a different opportunity, cuz I was going to say "no" to this one.
While the economy is very bad all over it is REALLY bad in Louisiana. Clearly money and finances are tight for CPCajun at this time and being out of work (IMO of course) could really put an additional strain that the marriage cannot handle at this time.
Perhaps I had misunderstood but I thought CPC said the office was closing next year. Lots can happen by "next year".
It really is a sh*t choice to have to make.... a stable job that will at least provide some mental stability or taking the stable job closer to OM? And really, wouldn't CPC W benefit from her H having a stable income too?
While this might not be the most positive outlook I tend to think it might be beneficial to make sure the income is there so if nothing else, CPC can provide for himself and his child.
Then again new jobs, new cities and moving are very stressful changes.
Clearly CPC's W was very upset when he could not afford to purchase his own meal for his daughter's b-day party. She will be MORE upset when there is no income to do anything.
