Making progress and reconnecting.....ayieee

[CPCajun]

I dont know, its like an up hill battle that I cannot win. I still find it that I am detached from W and I just want out. Then again, I do want my W and the family.

I am trying to just lets things flow with myself and not actually "try". If you see what I am saying. Pretty much being myself, or how I used to before all this.

Its just I cannot sleep now and always wake up in the middle of the night thinking about the relationship. Sleeping meds do not work or only delay my waking to early in the morning.

Last night, for some reason, W talked in her sleep. She keep saying not to touch her, when I cuddled. Or I hurt her when I touch her or I am a joke and I do not want you..then laughed.

I just needed to vent. I am getting more and more confused in working this.