It has been a while so here is the current stitch in a nutshell.
We are still separated and living in separate homes. She is still in contact with OM. She sees him every day, and he stays over night 5/7 nights. He sleeps on the couch when my boys stay at hers overnight.
We have had one very brief R talk, where she stated that too much had gone on between us and led her to walk out for the second time. I left the door open - so to speak - and told her I did not agree. I have unrestricted access to my boys, and have them whenever i am not in work. I have dated other women and she knows this. The only response to me going out was when she displayed anger and accused me of, quote, neglecting the boys because of my hectic social life.unquote.
In the past 4 weeks her father was taken very ill and spent time in hospital. I asked about him and the MIL on several occasions and showed genuine concern for them. I gave her reassurance, and held out my hand to give her a hand squeeze of comfort and compassion. She wouldnt let go of my hand for the next 30 seconds and kept squeezing it tightly whenever I made a move to release her hand.
A week later I showed compassion, and again she wouldnt let go of my hand. There had been no physical contact at all since the day she walked out in May.
She is now going out of her way to help me in anything I do - lending me money, helping with the boys...
Our conversations when we hand over the boys are getting longer and longer and are much more friendly. She now moves to within kissing distance when we talk, and wants to know more about what has happened in my day.
I have found her twice in the past 3 weeks staring at my ringless wedding ring finger. I took it off at the end of May. When she stares at my missing ring, it is not a quick glance, but a sustained stare.
This week I have been struggling to sleep as my mind will not turn off, and my thoughts keep returning to her and how I should handle things.
I believe an R talk is about to happen.
I am very undecided about how I feel for her.
I do not want to close the door on her, and I want her to think that there is a chance for us to work things out.
Would putting my ring back on be a sign that I am still open to her, or do I stand by my original thought that the OM must be gone Before I would consider wearing my ring again.
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
