I don't believe I've ever posted on your stich before, but so much of what you say reminds me of my H when he went through his first crisis back in 2002. Dreading coming home because you never knew what mood he'd be in. Walking around on eggshells. My H has a drinking problem, which made it all worse. H was always too busy to do anything like school orientation.
I wish I could be more insightful, but after a long period of time, he simply 'snapped out of it'. I believe this is due in part to having to get ready to deploy to Iraq. While it gave me my husband back, it simply prolonged the inevitable.
