21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

I lowered the limit from $5k to $500 and you can only make limit changes every six months. The card has a $350 balance due.

She never gave a response. She has gone dark with me equally as well. Which is tough to do in the same bed/home and still parenting.

Every time I talk with my L he takes more $ out of my $5k retainer. I'll see if I can re-address the issue with W. Should be another fun conversation.

On a side, yesterday W wanted to know who I was taking to the baseball game with her ticket (I'm taking the kids too). I said I haven't figured that out yet. I have actually asked my cousin is she'd go but W doesn't need to know that.

[Chuck66]

On a side note, yesterday W wanted to know who I was taking to the baseball game with her ticket (I'm taking the kids too). I said I haven't figured that out yet. I have actually asked my cousin is she'd go but W doesn't need to know that.

[LRT Land]

chuck - you can try talking to a 'real" person at the credit card company and explain the situation. Send them a letter yourself and put them on notice.

Re the lawyer fees, try to make your calls as productive as possible. Don't call with one off questions, but call when you have at least two or more. Lawyers either charge in 1/10's of hours or 1/4 hours, so you may as well get your money's worth.

[Chuck66]

All good advice. Thanks!

[Chuck66]

After slamming the phone down on me this morning she called around 5:30 pm and said the rain was so hard she stopped of at her mom's house. The rain stopped shortly afterward but she stayed there and didn't come home until 7:30.

When she got home I told her I was going to town. She said I thought you were going out tomorrow. I said I am but I have plans tonight too.

I went to Starbucks, the mall, and watched "The Expendables" at the movies and just got home at 12:30 am. I will not tell her any place I have been. Not so sure she even cares.

[pookie69]

Disappearing and reappearing unexpectedly worked for me. I did that in response to W starting to disappear on weekends. I left early before she even had chance to think about her day. Sometimes I went to the park and read a book. Sometimes had early lunch by the riverfront. Sometimes I told her what I was doing sometimes didn't.

Although most of the time I was alone, I told her that I was out with friends but never mentioned names because she knows all of them.

It drove her nuts after awhile and she started to stay home and make plans for both of us. She made sure there was a plan early enough in the morning before I could unexpectedly get up and leave. It worked.

Now I am focusing on communication. I want her to be interested of what I am thinking but only if she inquires the info. She needs to be interested of that otherwise the info has no value.

There are so many ways to GAL but it's tough to break routines.

[Chuck66]

Good to know. I have been doing a little of that but I will ratchet it up a bit.

I bought myself a new necklace today (I don't wear jewelry) and if asked about it I will tell her it was given to me and that she doesn't know HER. It was given to me by the cashier at Walmart after I paid for it :>)

I guess I will go to Starbucks, mall and another movie tonight. It killed 5 hours pretty darn easy last night.

[Chuck66]

I forgot. Before she left with the kids to go to grandma's house she asked if I was still taking the kids to the baseball game tomorrow. I told her earlier in the month that I was going to ask someone else to use W's ticket. I asked two people who said they can't.

Should I take the kids without the W and waste the ticket or ask if she wants to come along?

I'd hate to back-track after I said I was going to ask someone else. But I also don't want to be a Richard and take our kids without W with one ticket available.

[pookie69]

I would not ask "Do you want to come?" or "I would like you to come."

I would say "I have an extra ticket and you are welcome to join us. I figured I'd offer it to you first because the kids would enjoy your company."

What's the worst case? She would say no and you will have fun day with the kids.

[Chuck66]

Except I didn't offer it to her first and told her I was going to use her ticket to ask others. I think I shouldn't say anything and let her know that I'd rather have fun with the kids than to go and get the silent treatment from her.