I think it's OK to let go

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

STBXW asked her attorney yesterday to set the hearing date ASAP. It's a simple, uncontested D, so in a week she should become XW.

I am not suprised. When she first talked about reconciling, she refused MC and wanted to see "how she felt", and at first (because reuniting seemed exciting most likley), she said she was hopeful.

I am bad about following my own advice in that I know I should have backed off with no firm commitment and signs of problems. I accepted weekly dates that went from "fun and slightly romantic" to strained and almost forced in a very short time. In my bachelor life, I would have walked away early from somebody I was dating if every date seemed to be a step backward, but I didn't do that, and maybe it's for the best?

Last week things got really out of hand. She was back to "seeing signs" and attributing all sorts of meanings to synchronicities (re: confirmation bias in overdrive), and it was approaching the levels it did when she was having her failed, largely in her own head, online EA. I read this as, "if it's fate, then I am truly not responsible for my choices or actions".

My "reaction" to this escalation of "magical thinking" was not to back off (as I would tell anybody else). Tuesday I argued with her about it, and she predictably became more insistant to the point of offering dream-based revelations about how I would meet a woman with long-blond hair and a young daughter, and that we "would be very happy together".

Sigh.

So... Moving on without Mrs TimeHeals is my apparent future.