It's been a rough week or 2. D10 was completely off her meds at X's insistence. She was expressing suicidal intent a couple times over the past 2 weeks. When it happened again Wed. night, this is something that never has happened when she was on medication, I called X and told him I was going to have to drop her off at his place. He told me I was abdicating my responsibility (who talks like that???), but I said if I was responsible she would be on medication! It worked out well, he was on a date with OW, and called me honey during the conversation and was funny to hear him explain to OW of course I'm not blah blah blah. He would have had to leave his date, and he admitted he's had tons of problems the past month with her as well. S16 had told me as much the last couple weeks too. He said well I'll agree to the one med, but not the other. Well, fine, I would have agreed to that from the get-go...
So we're slowly starting her back on meds. She hasn't been talking about killing herself since Thursday night, so hopefully it's helping a little. She ran off during church today and hid in one of the classrooms, and has been acting just kind of crazy still though. It was my weekend with the kids, and you know it was exhausting.
We had a meeting with D10's psych on Friday, and X was saying well some of it's just D10 being manipulative and puberty issues. I said well, I could see that maybe, but just coincidentally this happens the month after we take her off her meds!!! The psych seemed to think that was unlikely too.
I think X had already decided to give in somewhat, I mean, it was pretty inevitable, so it went pretty smoothly. This cracked me up: the psych said 2 or 3 times how great we were getting along and how so many divorced parents don't, and how great that was for D10! OMG! X said yes, we've always presented a united front to the kids (um, yes one that he decided!) I'm also thinking about moving to the town where X lives and I work in, and he told me on the way to the car that it would be best if I get a place in D10's school zone. Um, I have an 80 pound dog and am renting, so just being able to find anywhere in town I can afford that will take a large dog and cat is challenging enough. And I said that to him. But honestly it went as well as could be expected.
D10 dropped by X's apt. after church today to get her DS, and X came out to my car with D10 to ask me about having the kids tonight or tomorrow. I let him decide, so he chose tonight, which was fine with me. OW was there too in his apt. apparently, I guess they meet there when her kids are at her place. She came stalking out from the apt. out to where the kids and I are. My thoughts are this is either b/c she wants to hurt me or something like that; or you know with they way they're started she's insecure and worried to leave X alone for a minute, esp. if we're starting to get along. And yes, I know this is completely petty of me, but she's gained about 20 pounds! And she's about 5 feet tall, so you know that's not good! And I've lost 5 or so pounds the last couple months, so funny. She was super buff and working out all the time when she took up with X, so funny. And btw, X is looking like hell. He has the scraggly beard again. Yes, I'm a petty, petty person...
(((Karen))), It's so sad that he had to make your D go through that for his own agenda. I hope he can get to the point of just accepting whatever is necessary for your D health and welfare, even if that means 12 medications. I'm glad that she was with you when that happened. I would hate to think how your ex would handled it.
You're not petty. It's just a sign of you moving on and he's stuck with her. No wonder they both look like heck. Their relationship has caused only trouble for the both of them. You sound great. I'm sure you look it too.
How can it be petty if's it's a truthful observation? You don't make the observation to pump yourself up, right? No, you make it as a warning call -- that the wages of such wrongful ways can be costly, they take their toll.
My former spouse is the same way. She doesn't look bad, but she certainly doesn't look her best. Because she does things with OM that are unhealthy. I have come to care less except where it impacts the health of our S's as well. I worry that S9 in particular is going to be suffering heart disease before he's even graduated from high school.
But your ex's resistance to your D being on proper medications is just sad.And just because he feels that it does not some how benefit himself, _that_ is what I call petty.
Stick to your guns. I myself was once suspicious of prescribing medications for every problem, but I now see that they have their place. If it is warranted, then by all means. And since you have demonstrated through your doctor the real need in your D, while your H has not presented any rational argument for his own position, you should most certainly prevail.
Kat, I've got it at the top of my queue and just checked since it didn't come in this week. It says it releases September 7th! How did you get it??? BTW, saw D10's best friend, and asked him how's she been doing, and he said she's been acting crazy!!! I told him she wasn't taking her medicine, but is now so should be better soon. X is such an a$$ to put her through that!!!
I bought it! Everyone has been saying how good it was so I caved. It there something else you want to watch while we wait for yours to come in?
oh, have to dash, meeting a friend to see Eat, Pray, Love. I am only going because I really like Julia Roberts. I will let you know if I like it. Do you want to chat tomorrow night? Let me know.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I've got the kids tomorrow night--until Saturday at noon. I can chat after Saturday at noon...I want to see Killers looks good, but it comes out the 7th too! I just checked recent movies-Love Happens or Avatar? I haven't seen anything in the last year or so...
Since I haven't seen anything, and we have similar taste in movies, why don't you just pick one? And don't forget we'll see Date Night in 2 weeks.
Ok, yesterday was a long day. Had the orientations for both kids. D16's was scheduled from 8:30 to 10, but checked their website the night before and they'd changed the time from 8 to 10, so I got there at 10. Apparently, there was some kind of email or info re: schedule snafu, they hadn't gotten mailed as they were supposed to so we were supposed to be there at 7:15am. I never of course heard anything about that, so X did show up at that time and get the schedule. S16 goes to the biggest high school in town and it was a mess-no parking, people standing in long lines for schedules. We started to go to the presentation we were having, but it was packed, not even any room to stand. X, who hates crowds, ducked out and said he'd be waiting outside. We went out too as it was too crowded and X was just sitting there kind of in a snit I think. A year or 2 ago, I would have just looked for him to "lead" us around-I tend to be a total follower. But this time I think I did a 180, and I just took the kids and said let's go find all your classes, which was what my son was really concerned about and meeting his teachers. I guess at some point X joined us, and we went through and met all the teachers. It was ok. At one point we couldn't find one of the classes, and we asked the 3 or 4 helpers and they'd all given us different (mostly wrong) advice. S16 was upset, and then X just got all angry and kind of yelling like he does. I was thinking so glad I don't have to deal with that on a daily basis anymore. I def. feel more detached every time I see him now. He was kind of friendlyish so that was good.
The afternoon we had D10's orientation, X walked up and I was talking to a good friend of mine, who is also knows X. He did come up and say hi and then stood to the side. D10 was still just talking to me (really complaining b/c we were waiting), and I told her to go talk to her dad. She ignored me though. We met her 3 teachers, and they all seemed fine. X was ok, on his phone with work part of the time, D10 and I just walked around together and found her classroom and I focused on her. Dropped off the kids around noon today and then took my dog to the forest for a hike/jog.
I'm trying to think of my next galing activities: one I want to do for sure is run or at least jog a 5K. I've wanted to do that for a long time, so I'm going to work up to that. I want to do a women's weekend my birthday weekend in 2 months, which has a bunch of wilderness activities for beginners: shooting, kayaking, archery, fishing, and that kind of stuff. Should be fun and different. I've never done any of that really. Not big in south Florida where I grew up. And then I'm thinking about taking an art class or something; that I haven't done for about 30 years. Hope everyone's having a good weekend!
Does "My Life in Ruins" or Leap year" sound good to you? We can still do Date Night but if you can get one of those faster we could watch maybe on a Tuesday night. Let me know.
As always thanks for the chat. I am so glad we are friends and that we have dealt with all of this cr@p together!! Thanks for being there my dear friend.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The psych seemed to think that was unlikely too.