It's OK Piano, don't beat yourself up on what you've said in the past, it won't do you good worrying about what can't be changed! And please be kind to yourself... the worst bit is over.
If you feel the urge to write H/OW an email, you can write one and save it in the draft box to be reviewed on another day (you can't send emails when you are emotional anyway)... when you do read it a few days later you'd probably find yourself thinking "why bother". It helped me dump the frustration a little bit this way, it actually felt like I did email. (somehow typing an email worked better for me than writing on a piece of paper)
Make sure the "send to" space doesn't have anyone's addresses though... to avoid accidents!
As for the OW... don't waste any of your precious time, she's wired differently and won't speak the same moral language.
