You (we) don't have to beg or cajole or entreat or plead with anyone to love us. If we do what is it worth? We cannot manipulate or force fidelity or loyalty. They are freely given by someone who has emotional maturity, morailty and an innate sense of what is right and wrong in a M. A lot of these WAS don't get that. They aren't there yet. They may get there but they aren' there yet . Reconciling while they are still out to lunch is begging for trouble. They need to change and show a genuine desire to do work.
Let go. There is nothing more irritating and more of a turn off to a man more than a woman who keeps on clinging after he has told her time and again that he wants out. It took me a while to get this but then it was lie a lightbulb went off.
^ Kara's wise words on Mystik's thread.
OK, this is why I am terrified.
WH knows I love him (I said it in my email to him, even if I also said I am moving on).
WH tells my mum increduously "She STILL love me!!!!".
I must be a COMPLETE turn-off to WH.
Maybe I really should be busting his balls a bit, like Allen says on my Infidelity thread.
I think Puppy is right, the basis of attraction is RESPECT.
I have been disrespecting myself wanting WH back after all he has done.
Don't worry, I am not going to write to him, but I am going to have to somehow let this guy know soon that I don't want him.
The only thing I think I could do is say
"You know, I've been thinking and I realise I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore. You're right, we'd make better friends than lovers'. Ouch. but it might UNDO all the damage I've done persuing him.
The alternative is to get all narky and lecturey and tell him how cruel, selfish and irrepsonsible he is.
