I think what so many people have tried to gently point out to you is allowing your emotions to rule your actions will keep you very vested in this pain.
In fact, you are doing the exact same thing as your H. He is acting on "feelings" and "emotions". He feels "in love" with OW. If he was in fact acting on good sense he would have returned some time ago or at the very least NOT began a family before divorcing you.
You are also acting on emotions.
It's understandable that you feel raw I'm just not sure, given the amount of time that has passed, that you have really taken any concrete steps to heal the wound.
What steps will you take over the course of your vacation that will somehow propel you to a different state? It often sounds like you are simply looking at ways to buy more time which really will only extend the pain.
Your emotionally side won't magically catch up. You are going to have to work at it.
