Bustorama-Thread 1

[bustorama]

Agreed, Pin and Faith -- friggin addictive comp games. Yeah, the guilt and self-anger for allowing ourselves to go down that road is a real bugaboo, ain't it??

I keep having to remind myself to use it as a motivation to improve and move forward and not to let it be a tool by which W can manipulate me or by which *I* beat myself up too much or demean myself. I think you have to forgive yourself before your W can forgive you.

Puppy, regarding your point re: being sensitive to wife maybe using my past indiscretions as way to justify her own current behavior or manipulate me vis-a-vis her current behavior -- there may actually have been something along this vein that happened in July. I told her I was aware of her texting and facebooking alot with a couple of old high school friends from her from out of town (I had names from reverse lookups and phone #'s from cell log), and I wanted to be clear with her that any sort of EA-type affair behavior on her part was a dealbreaker for me. That I could not tolerate being married to a person in which the other person was engaging in EA behavior. That I had been there and done that and seen what a slippery slope it was and how damaging and hurtful it had been to her and our relationship. And that I would not be able to remain married with her and would file if I saw evidence of that. She got really angry at me and accused me of snooping and said she was "done and wanted a divorce." She said that I was being self-righteous now that I had finally changed and how could I have the nerve to accuse her of doing something she wasnt doing and to tell her it was not ok for her to do something like that when I had done it. I said, I'm just telling you what my boundaries are and told her goodbye. I kind of had written our marriage off at that point with how angry she was. Then she called back 4 hours later and apologized like crazy about her reaction and since then has been more open about her texting and facebooking. Maybe I nipped something in the bud, or she was just pissed about me boundary setting when I hadnt been minding my own boundaries before? It's something I am keeping my eyes and ears open for still.

How do I find y'all's threads? I've read some of each of y'all's but have trouble finding myself back to them. I'm gonna try to put this thread link in my sig after I post this.