well I finally did it...I unfriended him on facebook. Yay! Another step in the right direction.
As far as him coming over and visiting the kids here, I would love to set some boundaries with that, but he keeps reminding me how we are still legally married and how that it is still his house so he can come when here whenever he chooses, which luckily isnt very often, But still I would prefer if he would take the Girls out instead of just hanging out here, someone asked my why I just don't leave when he is here during a visit, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that right now either.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Actually your husband is incorrect. Your marriage ended the day he filed divorce papers. I don't know what state you are in but in MOST states the day the dissolution is filed is the day the marriage had ended in the eyes of the law. You are now in the dissolution stage which is merely a set of legalities.
Why would you not be comfortable setting boundaries and leaving him to his own devices with the children? Hell, I would put on a dress that is divine, sky high heels and strut my ass out of the house while he is remanded to playing 'dad'. Make him wonder (and drool).
He may own the house but this does not automatically give him this right. Check with your L on this, Shelby. He's in control here. You need to assert your independence and you need to feel comfortable.
Actually your husband is incorrect. Your marriage ended the day he filed divorce papers. I don't know what state you are in but in MOST states the day the dissolution is filed is the day the marriage had ended in the eyes of the law. You are now in the dissolution stage which is merely a set of legalities.
Wow. I didn't know that. I'll have to check on Illinois. I still considered myself married.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I understand you may consider yourself married but for legal purposes (in most states and certainly in NY) your marriage legally ended the day the dissolution is filed hence the reason temporary support/agreements are usually filed in a rapid fashion.
In NY the length of the marriage is VERY important when it comes to dissolution which is why the filing date is key.
I wouldn't suggest pointing this out to the WAS. I merely brought it up as it speaks volumes how a WAS wants to hold on to the titled of married yet is perfectly comfortable to behave as a single person when they so choose.
That alone should propel ALL of us to forget about comfort and feelings and move forward on reality. There is very little about a divorce that is "comfortable". Waiting to FEEL comfortable is wasted time.
Today is my 16th wedding anniversary, it is approx. 1 month since I have been served and husband moved out, I think I am doing pretty well for the most part.
Today after work I took the Girls out shopping for back to school stuff, they both got some nice stuff, then on the way home we stopped and had a nice dinner. They don't realize what the date is and I didn't feel the need to mention it. It was just a nice time spent with my Daughter's.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
