Sometimes you have "Eureka" moments where you just get it, thanks to someone. Coach, thank you for:
Quote:
I would talk about what's going on in your life - work, family, hobbies, health, spiritual, emotional. What you are learning, doing, thinking, planning and dreaming about. You don't need her to engage to do this. A WAW is dying inside to know these things (intomesee) and it's not pursuing or rewarding CB to talk about yourself. It makes you interesting and attractive because you are a man of action, plans and dreams. It's powerful, try it.
I've been struggling with detaching, GAL, etc. while depriving my wife of what she's been craving. Hopefully this will help a lot.
I really like this post too. I'm adding it to my thread as a reminder. After reading Sandi2's list over and over and over, it clicked today for me as well, that rule #1 is pretty simple in concept.
One of my W's complaints was that I didn't do anything (aka Not GAL = sat on my A$$ and played on comp and drank beer). Well, since I'm working on that GAL now, why not throw pieces of info to her every now and then about what I'm up to. Afterall, I'm not breaking rule #1, makes me look at least a lil more interesting, shows action, and that I'm moving on...right?
Her friend (ours I should say) keeps asking me every damn day if I'm doing okay...and because of her being friends with my W, I just say I'm doing good(which is true!) and change subjects. I'm pretty sure she is relaying this info too...but I don't ask and don't tell.
I'm not ready to implement this yet, but it sure beats sending an apology or a fishing attempt of trying to find an excuse to contact her. Because of the space I have given my W, she has initiated contact, so maybe next time I'll just throw her an update. Afterall, it's not really going to make her stop the divorce, but it might make the "food I'm holding in my hand a little more tempting for the squirrel". Anyone against this line of thinking?
