To Tell or Not to Tell

[LRT Land]

I took a second one. It was positive also. Great.

[A_goodman]

LRT,

I have a slightly different take. I usually do;)

My first thought was: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

I know you weren't palnning on this, AND that it is a really inconvenient time, AND that it may further complicate everything about life including your R. But you know what? You are a good Mother. You love your DD and she has been the one shining bright spot in your life. She is an unending, unconditional source of love for you. Whatever happens betwen you and H will happen. I hope and pray that you continue to make strides and have a long happy new life together, but either way the future keeps marching on. Another child will be a lifelong blessing to you. It will be really hard, but you can do it and do it well.

I don't want to sound too pollyannaish, but a child IS a blessing and God has his reasons. Embrace this. Cherish this. If you believe it's a miracle, accept it as such and be thankful for it.

First off, RELAX then relax some more. Make a plan (calmly). I would not bring it up until after the medical confirmation. He knows your age. I don't see how he can think it was intentional on your part, plus it takes two to make a baby. If he was worried about it he could have taken precautions. Besides, it's possible that he will be moved the other way. Whatever you do don't try to mindread now.

I hope you took my 2 cents in stride. If not, well I'm obviously an idiot anyway, so just blow it off.

BTW, my second thought was that I felt honored that you shared this with us. Like it or not, We are your friends and will be here for you.

((((((LRT))))))) Much love girl

[LRT Land]

I will try to relax. H knows something is up as he could tell something was bothering me. I'd still like to wait until after the blood test but we'll see. I may end up at least telling him I am suspicious.

I really appreciate all the hugs and helpful thoughts. I debated whether to post but then really needed some feedback. I am so used to thinking of us as a 1 kid family I can't even picture a second. My DD would love a sibling, but I think it would be a setback for our M which would ultimately have a negative impact on her. You should check out the stats for a woman in her 40s ability to conceive with a man in his 50s. we took some precaution but clearly not enough. Perhaps the stress threw thinks off.

I try not to let fear run my life so hopefully I will settle into this and see where the road takes me - strange road that it is. But i can't deny I'm scared. Scared of H's reaction - scared of fetus health - scared of miscarriage - scared of no miscarriage. I am just a mess.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

LRT,

I have a slightly different take. I usually do;)

My first thought was: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

I know you weren't palnning on this, AND that it is a really inconvenient time, AND that it may further complicate everything about life including your R. But you know what? You are a good Mother. You love your DD and she has been the one shining bright spot in your life. She is an unending, unconditional source of love for you. Whatever happens betwen you and H will happen. I hope and pray that you continue to make strides and have a long happy new life together, but either way the future keeps marching on. Another child will be a lifelong blessing to you. It will be really hard, but you can do it and do it well.

I don't want to sound too pollyannaish, but a child IS a blessing and God has his reasons. Embrace this. Cherish this. If you believe it's a miracle, accept it as such and be thankful for it.

First off, RELAX then relax some more. Make a plan (calmly). I would not bring it up until after the medical confirmation. He knows your age. I don't see how he can think it was intentional on your part, plus it takes two to make a baby. If he was worried about it he could have taken precautions. Besides, it's possible that he will be moved the other way. Whatever you do don't try to mindread now.

I hope you took my 2 cents in stride. If not, well I'm obviously an idiot anyway, so just blow it off.

BTW, my second thought was that I felt honored that you shared this with us. Like it or not, We are your friends and will be here for you.

((((((LRT))))))) Much love girl

Wow, Goodman . . . that was a really beautiful post!!

My daughter -- unmarried, and unplanned -- came to us a little over a year ago, via a 5-page handwritten letter she left in her bedroom (she was afraid to face us, and was hiding out at her sister's), telling us that she was pregnant. She was terrified, knew we'd be upset (we were hardly enamored with her boyfriend), and I reacted pretty poorly to my wife, anyway ("What is she going to do?? How will we afford this? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW???!")

My wife, to her credit, looked at me with that steely resolve she summons during the "Really Big" times in our lives, and firmly said "We're going to go get our daughter, give her a hug, and tell her that we love her and that everything will be okay. Everything else can be worked out starting tomorrow or the next day."

And of course she was right.

Today, the 19th, we are celebrating the 6-month "birthday" of our beautiful baby granddaughter, and of course NONE of us can imagine her NOT being in our lives right now, as difficult as it's been.

I know this seems overwhelming right now, LRT, but this may end up being a blessing in disguise. Please keep your mind -- and your heart -- open to that thought.

Puppy

[LRT Land]

I know this seems overwhelming right now, LRT, but this may end up being a blessing in disguise. Please keep your mind -- and your heart -- open to that thought.

I will try. I keep thinking about all the wine I've had the last 3 weeks trying to relax and act "as if" and enjoy the moment and all the caffeine I've had trying to stay awake after not sleeping at night because of the stress. Two things that are not good for fetuses. Between that and my age it is scary - plus all the other crap.

I made an appt for tomorrow for a blood test. Yikes.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

46 is the new 36, LRT.

Puppy

[pinhead]

I'm 46 and I sure feel 36 or younger! Sometimes I even act like a 26 year old...

[A_goodman]

Puppy, you are a mench! And a funny one at that. "46 is the new 36". Love it.

God bless your GrandDaughter. 6 months is a big deal. Might be cause for a cigar even.

LRT, if I remember right, the critical time not to drink is the second trimester. So don't worry so much. Yes, statistically >40 complications increase, but in today's medical environment, many, many women are successfully bringing healthy babies to term at or past your age.

Get in your happy place and CHILL! Whatever happens will happen and you worrying about it can only impact things negatively.

I'm praying for you. Trust in Him.

[kara]

LRT, you are in my prayers. I think Goodman gave you some beautiful and powerful advice. Thinking of you....

[Espr444]

Hey LRT,
My thoughts and prayers are with you! Try and relax think of your favorite place and pretend your there.