I gave up...filed for D

[Gardener]

(((luv)))

[soleil]

Hi Luv! Just popping in to say hi. I hope your days only get better and better

[luvless]

steady...alice...gardener....soleil

I appreciate all your kind words of support. It was hard but not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I looked at Aug 18 as such a sad day (since back in June) and felt I wasn't going to do very well but I was ok. I didn't expect to get ill but at least I feel a little better today.

I didn't realize rockedHERworld (kelRocked) had the same anniversary as me..she actually got married the same day I did 20 years ago...weird. It was a beautiful day huh Kel? I wouldn't take it back for the world. It was worth it.

I continue to feel sad about my marriage dissolving. I am working hard at being "ok."

Luv

[luvless]

I'm just gonna update real quick to log some thoughts.

I've had dreams all week about my stbxH. The dreams were those very real kind...not the ones where you wake up and go..what was that?..they seemed so real. It was probably brought on because my 20 yr anniv. was coming up. Too many thoughts I guess.

Also I've had this weird feeling that he is gonna show up at my door. Maybe it's in my head but that's how I felt. I usually keep my front door open in the day and I've actually been keeping it closed.

Anyway I had a good day today. I can't complain.

night...

Luv

[Jstar]

I hear you luvless, i've been having dreams as well. i'm glad i' m at work my students keep my mind occupied for teh most part. went today bought some new clothes, in about amonth i will look better from doing more exercise.

[LSG]

luv,

I have thought about my 9th anniversary coming up too. I wake up every night sweating. I don't know if it means anything.

I am sorry you are having bad dreams, and a 20 year anniversary is a tough one when you won't be sharing it together.

(((hugs)))

[luvless]

thanks Jstar & LSG

we just have to work on ourselves...it's actually a good thing...become healthier and happier people! can't hurt right?

Luv

[luvless]

Well I just turned in a whole new set of paperwork to my attorney. The X will get it tomorrow and he'll be pissed. I emailed him today and he actually sounded like himself. It was nice but very sad at the same time.

I'm sure it won't last once he reads those papers. He is getting himself a new car (poor guy has no money) for kids college but he's got it for a new car. SAD

I will update to let you know how this next legal round goes. It's not gonna be pretty.

Luv

[Gardener]

luv,

I will update to let you know how this next legal round goes. It's not gonna be pretty.

They never are, luv. Courage.

Peace,

[luvless]

I have to update this guys - read and wonder...just like I did.

My stbxH picked up the kids to take them to lunch today. While gone he texts me (he just never texts me) and says, "would you like to go bowling with us?" huh? are you kidding me - is this a joke?

I responded thank you for the invite but I was working on something and he replies "the kids said you would never go with us or me for that matter" you must really project hate for me" I reply, I don't hate you mr. luv. He said he didn't like seeing their reaction when he suggested mom come with us.

What the heck is this supposed to mean? Why should he even care if I hate him? I thought he was the one who hated me? I mean...he chose to break up our marriage and sleep with someone else - now that is what I consider hate.

I guess he is just testing me to see what I'd say. The kids all feel so hurt and have expressed so much pain in feeling abandoned by him. He obviously is happy in his new life away from the real people that love/loved him. He is breaking each one of us in this household - one at a time with his emotional abuse.

Luv