Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

At this point I don't see myself ever fully letting go. By some miracle there may come a day that I ease my grasp on him, but to fully let go? I'll always love him and hope for his return.

Would I have dated him if he was hurting me like this when we first met? Yes, because I did. In the early stages of our relationship he wanted just friends with benefits, kept telling me that I should go out and date someone else, that he didn't care for me that way, even had a whore from CA he met on-line fly out so he could sleep with her. Each time he broke things off with me it sometimes took a bit but he always returned to me. I loved him and felt it would all work out and then one day he said he loved me, wanted to be with only me. And things were great. I knew he had it in him to be a good father, I saw how he was with his neices and nephews. Sure, when DS was an infant he was less than involved but as DS got older H got more involved. But the stress of parenthood and home ownership and finances took it's toll and our marriage fell apart. H claims he tried to work on repairing things but I don't recall ever seeing him put forth the effort required.