I'm now healing and moving forward

[MHL]

When I look at myself I can stand up and say I was a controlling, self centered prick.

The operative word through out your post is WAS.....

That was you......not anymore.

Grit is right about really letting her go....

BUT

I think you need to do something first IMO.

You need to let go of your past and what you did or did not do. You have served your time, you have given your pound of flesh, you are FREE of your past.

This is what is keeping you from moving forward...it is your GUILT that is holding you back.

Your W is MLC, your past did not cause her MLC. When you let go, really let go of YOUR PAST then you will be able to LET GO of HER.

I am not asking you to forget the past but stop blaming the way you WERE for your current situation and certainly for the choices your W has made and is making.

To be honest, with the fog she is in I doubt she can even remember the way you were the way she was or the way you guys were together. So therefore the decisions she continues to make are based on what she is feeling now.

I know tired....I am too. It will work out, all of it will work out, we do not know how, but it will.

You give so much of yourself to everyone here and at home, it is okay to keep a little for Eric.

Love Eric for a while he deserves it, he is an awesome person, friend, father, and HUSBAND.