So I'm trying to -find things to do together that we can both truly enjoy (makes me kind of sad that the things that 'light us both up' are the things we do seperate from one another), plus -learn how to be more comfortable, independent and enjoying my own thing (that isn't work!) while he's away.
FMV, I think it's fine (and healthy) to have different interests and hobbies that light each other up. The problem is when these personal interests intrude into the M (per Boundaries in Marriage). It sounds like a pattern that needs to be changed in the M (to still have personal interests, but joint recreational activities too). The problem isn't the activities , but the choices one or both of you are making about spending time together. What could you do that would influence him to spend recreational time with you more often?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
