Need some encouragement

[MHL]

Sorry, I don't remember, but I will go back and check. I am usually a big proponent of reading or re-reading someones sitch before posting any "hard" advice. I am sorry if I am off base here.

However, and again I am making an assumption that Relationship talks have resumed based on \/\/\/\/\/\/ this.....

I ask him how come when I ask who he is texting all he will say is friends. Do these friends have names???? Well, at that point, he goes into this defensive mood....I keep my voice calm and low. I said it just seemed like he was hiding something from me and it was bothering me...oh, That was where I guess I made a mistake!! HE said in a rather loud voice "YOU think I AM hiding something from YOU??" Incinuating that I myself act that way all the time! Paranoid! I was taken back and asked why he thought that. He said because I would go and sit on the back porch or walk outside for no reason.?????? ugh!

Then he goes into this whole, I dont go to bars, go out and blah blah blah. I have to tell him to quiet it down by then. HE then tells me two different people that were texting him that night. I could tell he werent being completely honest about everyone who was texting him. He goes on to say that he has friends. Some who would rather not let anyone know they text him. WHAT???

I am of the opinion that if R talks are going on and have been then there is no reason to stop if you can have these conversations and work things out. This is where things have to eventually head to....Right????

I do think that the conversations need to be worded differently so as not to drive either party into a corner or feel like they are being attacked.

Kissak's H can not argue with her feelings and as long as she is communicating how she feels and not communicating that she wants to control his behavior then the discussion would be more productive.