It does not feel like he's walking on eggshells with me. He says whatever the hell he wants as rudely as he wants whenever he wants. How is that on eggshells? If you were afraid of hurting your s's feeling or killing the r, wouldn't you watch how and what you said to them? At least consider their feelings? I mean why does he critique my figure, my clothes, my hair, my teeth, my friends, my habits, everything is such a deragatory way? Is he so honestly without a clue that he doesn't realize he hurts my feelings? Or does he do it cause he likes me? I know he's not me and can't act like me....but what happen to the courtesies involved in building a new r?
Quote: I have noticed that you say you are confused with him saying one thing then doing another, but I have notice you may be doing the same thing.
How much more clear can I be? Am I really that confusing with my questions like: What 3 things can I do this week to show you love?, You say I used to make you feel like #4 am I doing any better, do you feel like a 3?. I think these make clear my desire to love him, to make the r work. Where am I being confusing? I go over there whenever he asks me. I'm affectionate and encouraging. I try to compliment and be grateful, show appreciation. Go out on dates with him. I've been at it for 2 months. Now he's made some positive steps but if he will leap out at me like a snake when he's allowed anger to build up....doesn't that show the positive steps he's made as false? Cause underneath his positives has been this broiling anger at me. He feels this way but acts another? Should I go with that? If he can't express his feelings of anger or upset, how can he express love, happiness, etc? It seems to me it defeats the purpose to hide what you really feel while living this facade. We had that when we lived together....he'd been feeling like #4 in my book for years and didn't say anything.
Quote: Please give him the benefit of the doubt and communicate with him that you are committed on makeing the R work and to give you the benefit of the doubt also.
I am committed to making this work. But I get that he doesn't care...cause it is his way or no way. And since I do not know what his way is...how can anything I do make any impact? He's going to do what he wants when he wants and even if he knows he's wrong to hurt me, he knows I'll keep coming back so he can wait till tomorrow to deal with it.
Maybe I'm just being too hard on him and I should just relax. I let him know how I feel. I was calm. I said that the assumptions and his 2-faced behavior were killing me...why is it so hard for him to talk to me? He'd rather I leave than tell me he's mad and why.
I don't see how I can work with what I don't know. How?
I know he's not me and can't act like me....but what happen to the courtesies involved in building a new r? 
