Wife states she is not in love with me anymore!

[HopelessInLove]

Hi All,
I have been coming to this site for sometime now and have not had the courage to write until now!
I don't know where this thread should be.
We all have had our own experiences in our marriages but if we are here we all must be struggling in our own way. I have felt some pain we have all endured in our stich but if we stay strong we as individuals will grow and become better people.
Sorry for the rambeling, I am a divergent thinker.
This is my stich hopefully in a nutshell.
I just had my 10th anniversary. But my W drops the line to me that she loves me but is no longer in love with me back on April 17th, 2010. We have 3 children, D7, D5, and S2.I see now that she has been telling me for sometime that she has needed me to change. I have not heard her until we went to our first counseling session. I am not sure he was in it to help us stay together. He had a neutral stance. But I knew at that first session I needed to change. We are now seeing another counselor who is more pro-family. I have seen my priest on my own to deal with my own anxiety and depression caused by the M.
My W has taken this very neutral position about our marriage. I have backed off from the things that are pushing her, and in the last couple of days it seems that she may be warming up just a little, and I mean very little.
My dilemma is the new counselor thinks it may be a good time for me to talk to my W about defining what she mean by this and basically to push her away from the "I don't know what it means", or "I can't define how I feel." He feels that she is string me along and that if I continue to let this happen then she will certainly want out of the R.
The back drop of our history is that I have not felt her affection for sometime. I go then through a cycle where I get angry and the end result is that I bring up the Big D word. Nothing gets resolved. I have never wanted to get D. But now the tables are turned, and I am fighting for the relationship.

HopelessInLove