Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

I'm conflicted on filing. It feels like I'll be giving in to H's demands like I always do. It feels like H will think that I'm accepting his choices and will think we're friends. It feels like I'll no longer be taking a stand for my marriage and my beliefs that divorce is not the best option.

I suppose if I initiate the proceedings then I'm legally bound to sign them. I can't start the process and then back out leaving H to be the one to pursue it.