To Tell or Not to Tell

[LRT Land]

Would/Should you tell the WAS something, that would create a lot of angst, if you could take care of the issue yourself and not jeapordize the precarious R?

[pinhead]

Why do you want to tell them? What's your expected outcome?

Sometimes we feel the need to share everything. I think that's a mistake sometimes.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Too vague. Can you be more specific??

In general, I don't believe in "secrets" in a marriage, and that's how trouble starts. When you say "create angst" . . . angst for whom?? You, or her??

Puppy

[LRT Land]

I am rather distraught. I didn't want to post details in case this is ever discovered and I decide not to tell, but I can see in order to get helpful feedback I will need to unveil the issue. Most people would call it a miracle given our ages, mine especially. I'm pg. Miscarriage rate is 75% at my age, so it could be over relatively quickly. I'm afraid if I tell H he will believe it was intentional, which it absolutely was not. I just can't believe this is happening.

[pinhead]

Oh wow. Forget what I said. This is something you have to tell him. He has a right to know.

[LRT Land]

I don't have anyone I can tell. I only told 2 friends that he had a lawyer send me a letter. I only did an OTC test and have not called about a blood test. It is almost statistically impossible.

[Chuck66]

LRT,
I feel for you. Go slow and take your time to process everything. Take care of yourself because the LBS stress levels are high enough anyway, this will add to them.

There is a saying: "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is, "One bite at a time."

Don't look at everything in it's totality. Take life/emotions in digestible chunks.

You are going to be okay!

We are your friends here.

[dad1b1g]

I'd have to agree with PH, he needs to know. Theres no reason you can't wait a short reasonable time to see how it goes since most don't realize until at least 6 or 8 weeks or longer.

Yes it will probably raise some ill feelings but he will know soon enough if your sucessful right?

[LRT Land]

I'm hoping it is a false positive but everything I've read indicates false negatives are more likely to be wrong than false pos's. From a ssm, to lawyers, to this. Unbelievable. I guess I will plan on getting a blood test next week. Maybe I can decide about telling H after that.

[pinhead]

And who said our lives would be dull? Wow. Just Wow.

And don't assume how he'll react. That's a twisted form of mind reading.