1. Got to H's apartment and he'd locked me out. Usually door remains open when he knows I'm coming over. Wondered why it was locked? My mind ran away with me! Apparently h locked it out of habit and then tried to get home in time to let me in? 2. Urged me to next time to use the gate code to come into the complex. I said no I want to respect your privacy. He said whatever because if he didn't want me in he'd change the code. I said I'm sure you would. (he did that to me back in August) 3. I had gotten a sitter for the kids and asked h what he wanted to do for the evening. He said I need to get groceries! Arghhh! H said well I suppose you can come with me to get groceries. I was so frustrated and it was hard not to get mad. So I left to take boys to sitter thinking well he'll leave and go get groceries, but no he calls me wants to go to dinner. So I come back and we go to dinner. 4. We ended up going shopping after dinner. While there he says come back this way and I'll show you the table I'm going to buy. When I see it, I say we don't need a table. He says who said anything about we...this is the table I want to buy. I say again WE already have a dining table. He mumbles something like the table will be in a better place. I say huh and he keeps mumbling. We wonder over to the wines and about 10 minutes later I say what do you mean about the table in a uh better place. H says I didn't say better...I said if WE end up in a bigger place the table will go there. I'm estatic that he at least said WE. 5. Then we go to check out and I offer to buy the martini shaker and he says why...I want to keep it. (I notice he's been keeping the receipts of purchases as I guess proof that he bought the items when we were separated. Proof to the judge that the stuff is his?)
After the bit with the martini shaker, I was a little deflated but carried on in good spirits while we continued shopping. I did tell him he was more confusing than a woman! We went to pick up the kids, and returned to his apartment. Watched a movie, folded some laundry then got ready for bed. At one point, he moved suddenly in the bed and I yelped. He said what...I'm only lying here in MY bed.
Lots of references to mine, my, his but there were some WEs. Gosh, I just find myself looking for something to cling to that would indicate he wants to stay married. I know he's in counseling and he's said a lot of 'flowery' words to the c but we've been here before and it turned out false.
I'm so scared! I just don't know what to make of his references to WE, the bigger house!!!! I certainly hope he's not playing me for a fool!
In the middle of the night, he rolled over and hugged me. That was nice.
