good morning Cindy - I asked this question of Laurie - my telephone coach and she suggested to try something and monitor. if it works keep doing it - if it does not work then do something different. I also told C that I was working on me and that it is a learning process. told her that I would make a mistake in the future and it might even be a doosie but that I would not do whatever with the intent of hurting her and to please bear with me and to be patient with me too. Then if you make a mistake and things start to get tense again you can say to H "Wow - that didn't work, did it? That was the Doosie I was telling you I might make. I know now not to do that agan." Get a laugh out of it and go on to doing something different. just my 2cw
