We all have well meaning friends (and family)...I was told many many times that I should move on...let the divorce go through... be done with H... I remember one friend in particular...we were working up north, near where H was living...I had called H and asked if we could meet for dinner while I was there...He agreed (reluctantly) but he did and we did have a good time...no relationship talk...no affection except for a hug good-bye for my benefit. Well my friend saw H dropping me off at the hotel and about had a cow...she said she needed to talk to me...she needed to help me stay away from him...bla bla bla BTW my sister and both my daughters were there working too...and also told me about her reaction when I was gone...so I had to say something... I told my dear friend...this is my marriage...I am not done...I know you don't like to see me hurt but I am not doing anything immoral, illegal, or dangerous to my family...so I need to respectfully ask you to keep your opinions to yourself (where my marriage was concerned) and just be my friend! And I basically let everyone know that no matter how much I had spewed about H in the beginning...even though I filed twice!...it was my business...and that was it! A few years later and several times since this dear friend tells me that she is so glad that I didn't listen to her...everytime she sees H and I together and/or with the kids she sees the happy family that we are and realizes that it would have been a great loss if we weren't together... The moral of this is that even well meaning friends don't KNOW what will happen...true, they are just trying to do something to stop your pain...but they don't understand you have to live with all the decisions and you don't want to live with their's...at least not now!
