Cindy, How perceptive of you! Worse yet, I'm driving myself batty with my insecurities. That's why I think I've made it to this point of wanting to let go a bit. I'm not as sure as you that he wants me back. I guess I thought if you loved someone you showed them you did. He holds back way too much-how could I not have insecurites about such a relationship? My task, seeing as how I hvae no control over his actions is to take care of myself, and stop waiting for him to rescue my weary feelings of being unloved. Problem is that it's laways been so black and white for me. No gray areas-either/or. I supppose the thing to do is still show him I love him but like you said, "get a life!" My life has always been him and our family and it's been extremely hard for me to move away from that frame of thinking. I realize now I have to for my M nad mainly for ME. I've been so afraid since this all happened, like my life would be nothing without him. It's be over. I know it's no way to think, but that's been the way it is. I've lived in fear and anxiety for over two yrs. It's time for a serious change on my part. Time for me to grow as a person separate from him. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!! Rachael
