Yes, love shouldn't be so hard. We all change...in little ways. Remember when we were first in love with our h's? They could do no wrong, even the fact that they laid around watching TV didn't bother us. this is the 'in love' feeling. I think love as it matures because a choice...to do for the other person without expectations. Sometimes we fall out of love because we let our expectations get in the way...we want our h's to do certain things (ie, be home on time, let us meet their friends, know everything about where they've been, talk to us a certain way, etc....and these aren't wrong but we lose our delivery tactics sometimes becoming demanding and rude).
I think we both have changed from the 'girl' our h's fell in love with. I know I've become more cynical and distrustful of him, more narrowminded about what the 'right' thing to do is. I really have lost my sense of fun since I"ve become a mom. So caught up in housework, school activities, work issues, home repair, etc., that I'v lost myself and driven my h away. I know I'm not the same as when we first met.
We like our h's must let go of our perception of what it is to be in love. And since we have grown older, develop a new sense of what it means to live in close proximity to someone that sometimes gets on our nerves...someone that isn't like us in thoughts or mannerisms. love is learning to NOT make h like us but to learn to live with them and their differences and still love them.
This is a hard row to hoe but we are learning. And though your sitch has been going for 2 years...how long have you been db'ing? My sitch has been this way for 7 years but I've only started db'ing in June.
