WOW! Great list Cindy! H will have to sit up and take notice BIG TIME when your doing all those things. It reminded me I am suppose to be listing 3 positives every day. Why do we focus more on the negative???? Rachael
I certainly hope h notices! The c said why not...I am a good looking woman!!! He'd be dumb not to ask me out since I'm a sure thing. He's going to score. Ha, ha!
Besides the scoring, I just pray he comes to love me enough to want to stay married to me!
Well called h last night! Kept it light and both of us laughing. Asked if he had his 3 things to tell me...said no but you go. I said yeah but I always talk and he said I know (kind of in a I'm sorry tone of voice) so I went first. Told my 3 things nothing major. Then he thought for a bit and said I don't have anything....got up and went to work that was it for my day.
The call lasted about 10 minutes. At one point I told him that the kids were not at home but spending the night with friends. He didn't take the bait and ask me over. I was so disappointed!!! I wish he had!
I had to satisfy myself with sleeping with a 7 & 7 and a movie .
I can't help but want that man to want me. Is this part of an 'older' relationship...the lack of pursuit by the h? Do they get so comfortable with us that they no longer 'desire' us? I mean not physically but doing things like asking us out, calling, hugging us like they miss us. I do those things for my h. I guess I feel hurt cause he can go days without any contact at all .
Hmmm. This sounds all too familiar. I think I've been keeping contact with myH because I know if I don't-he won't, and I'm afraid of what HE might do AND I'm afraid of what I might do! Like you, I want to be wanted. Everybody does. H said that was what attracted him to OW was that he felt so wanted. I've told him how much I want him and showed him everyway I know how. So..why does he not show me he wants me??? Rachael
Well if you find out the answer let me know! I'm praying the use of the 5 Love Languages and some instruction from the c that my h will GET IT! He's at least attempting to try to FIX our communication by doing the 3 things.
I used to too maintain contact cause h wouldn't, and I was also afraid of what he'd do without me but I learned to let that go. And it has been very liberating to let my h find his own way back....not push h this way!
We'll see how he responds to the 3 things I can do each week that make h feel loved. Maybe filling his love tank will get him to fill mine?
I'm praying about h wanting me....I'm sure God will give me what I need through h. You pray for your h...God says he can take a 'heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh' . Let's both claim that promise, ok?
Yes, I'll claim it with you. I've been praying for a long time for his love for me to be restored. Unfortunately, God has given them free will, and that free will chooses not to want me very much. Sad. Very Sad. Rachael
So when you let go of trying to control, did he start contacting you?? Wanting you more? I mean at least we're seeing each other, but that's beginning to not be enough for me. It's been like this for over 2 yrs! Rachael
Yes, as soon as I started leaving him alone...totally alone and going out, changing my wardrobe...he began to pursue. Look at the past 2 years...are you still the same, acting the same, looking the same? Change up whatever you can drastically. did you read Acorn's post on detaching? If you normally call him to check his whereabouts, then don't do that, if you normally go to a restaurant on your dates, then go play pool instead. Do 180s wherever you can. Even in your conversations with him, if you are normally talkative and disclose everything, then start holding back info, try to get him to start asking questions about where you've been.
It takes 7 days to develop a habit...so as soon as you start employing these things they will become easier.
My h's behavior changed when I began to employ these type 180s.
Quote: Unfortunately, God has given them free will, and that free will chooses not to want me very much. Sad. Very Sad.
Don't give up. Remember the persistent widow in Luke 18!!!!
Yes, even the king in this scripture had free will but because of the widow's continual crying out for justice he gave in and gave her what she wanted!
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