Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

And you know what f'ing hurts? Seeing all these people on the other board having babies, getting pregnant, getting married. Hell, one girl has a gay husband but they're going to have a second baby together before they divorce. H kept denying me that second baby I desire. And now I'll never have that chance again. I feel like I'm not complete yet, that I'm missing a part of me. I felt that way even before H left and now that he's gone that feeling is even stronger.

Had a dream about H last night. We were talking with someone there acting as a mediator. In my dream he admitted to not trying to save our marriage, said he chose Whore because she was offering sex and that appealed to him more than talking to me to try and salvage things.