Yes, he is talking to me a lot more and amazingly, I've learned so much from keeping my mouth shut and actively trying to understand how he feels. There's a quote that I love and now it rings even more true to me "The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting". I've always tried to listen but I guess it was half-listening half-waiting because now that I really try hard to listen, I understand a lot more!
Regarding the negative tone of our conversation, I guess you're right, it is a big and deep issue for him so it will probably take a long time for him to work through it. I just feels so unnatural to me, cause I'm a happy person, but that's something I need to get used to. Sometimes I get an impression that we're going around in circles, repeating the same things and it just makes it feel more and more hopeless. And I get a strong urge to say something encouraging or reassuring but I feel it will go against the way H feels. I still need to figure out what to do there.
I started considering writing him an email saying that I realized that I wasn't listening to him as much as I thought I was and I decided to stop butting in with my thoughts, but just focus on listening. But I am not exactly sure when he needs my reassurance or suggestions or whether he wants them at all, so if he could tell me where is the right track here. Is that a good idea to send something like this? Or would that be asking about the changes I've made which I'm not supposed to do?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
