I thought there was a component in the strategy to have her start believing "she has lost me-the safety net"
There is! Firewalling your finances because we all know that the OM is starting school soon and your W is looking to keep herself financially afloat. The squeeze on them will begin very, very soon. Sit and watch my friend.
Meanwhile, keep on working your goals that you posted. Focus on you....act as if. Live your life. Do not initiate any contact with W unless absolutely necessary...related to D and joint finances until you get the firewall in place. She will wonder what you are up to and be mysterious if she asks. Don't tell her in detail what you are doing or even up to.
