My position would be projection as well there... It's good to hear someone else concurs...
It will help you avoid beating yourself up for starters. A lot of spouses hear projection during the affair and they beat themselves senseless trying to improve themselves... In areas that weren't their problem in the first place.
This is why I don't go for the "be a nice person" approach during an affair... There's way too much damn projection... Once that starts happening your spouse will have you tap dancing until you turn blue...
