You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

Back to the depression thing. STBXW started seeing a psychologist for depression on Tuesday nights in 2008. She didn't tell me about it until after the fact. She told me she was working late.

She said she stopped going after he said he wanted to hypnotize her and wanted to put her on antidepressants.

There's something in her childhood that I was battling.

My C -- thank God for company EAP plans -- said she, through my descriptions, sounds like someone with a mild form of depression. She generally functions just below happy, looking for that next great thing that will make her happy.

At first, getting married would make her happy. Then getting another job would make her happy. Then buying a house would make her happy. Then a bigger house. Then a kid. Then a promotion.

Lots of good stuff happened our first 10 years and then beginning in 2007 everything kind of stagnated. Kids started school. No new pets to buy. Stuck in the same house because of high house payments. STBXW got passed over for promotions.

But enough about her.

Yes. CG. Ego. In many ways she was my trophy wife. Look at me. College grad with the beautiful brown-eyed brunette.

She said once that I didn't love her I just wanted her. There's some truth to that. If I got a "Mrs. A" booty call I'd answer it. I miss her physically more than as a person.