I am concerned she will keep cranking up her debt and when she reconsiders I'll be married to that debt, too.
Not necessarily. When my wife and I reconciled, I told her that I had absolutely NO INTENTION of allowing our family's finances to be used to help her pay off her $3k debt to OM that she borrowed to pay her legal retainer. She said she understood, and -- to her credit -- paid every last dollar of it, from her own (rather small) part-time income.
