in the beginning, i kept saying .. i don't know why he's making these accusations. and it baffled me. until someone pointed out to me .. 'can't you see? he's pointing out stuff that he doesn't like about himself.'
then you go back and think of the things he's said.. "i don't have confidence in your ability to handle motherhood." "you procrastinate." "you never finish the job." "i think a fair an equitable split would be 80% for me and 20% for you. if you think that 50/50 is fair then you obviously married me for my money. you're a gold digger." "i am tired of putting up with your crying." "i feel like i'm dragging you through my life." "you just want to win." "you're just going to take me for all i'm worth. garnish my wages, take everything."
and the list goes on and on .. i tried to wrap my brain around it for the longest time. and i had no idea where all of this was coming from. until someone told me .. it's projection.
is it telling? likely.
i can use this information and be more compassionate but so what .. he's still siding with them. i figure, we can separate and he can be with his parents all he wants. sooner or later, he has to realize that it isn't me.
