Just don't know what to do anymore

[Nvrgivup]

I have been reading others posts for the last year and a half and thought maybe it was time to share my story and look for some advice.
It is 3 years in the making so I apologize up front if its a little long.
On August the 8th 2007 my wife came downstairs and needed to talk to me. She told me that she had been unhappy for some time, and that "she no longer wanted to be a wife, a mother or live by any rules anymore". She told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore. This started the 3 years of hell I have lived through. I was shocked! I certainly knew that things weren't perfect, but I had thought that our relationship was pretty sound, and in fact had matured and begun to truly thrive. I could not understand (nor still) why it had come to this. I found out over the next while that she was having an emotional affair (at least) with a much younger man at work, and over the next several months I watched as she disappeared night after night, coming home intoxicated in the wee hours of the morning, and at times not at all. She continually denied anything more than a friendship. But she was always with him sleeping at his house, and going on outings with him. she moved into a hotel on and off for about 6 months staying a few weeks then coming home then leaving again. She wouldn't talk to me about it, and essentially ran away whenever I tried to talk to her. on the few occasions where we did talk, she would tell me that she didn't want a divorce (that went on for 2.5 yrs or so.) I did the unthinkable, and begged, bought gifts, wrote poems and songs. tried to show her books and reports, websites anything I could to show her how I felt and why this was a bad decision. Obvoiusly I know now why that didn't work and in fact made things much worse. Anyways 2 years of hell as we lived in the same house (separately) and I watched her run farther and farther. She denied the other men (there was more than the one over the 2 years) Until finally last summer I decided we needed to be apart and we sold our home and I moved out (she is now renting "our" house from the new owner. Fast forward to now, I have been in my own place nearly a year, she now has a boyfriend that is "very special" and will be filing for divorce this week she says. I guess what I am looking for is some advice on what to do next? I have always believed that it is never too late, I believe in the vows we took, and I believe in what we had. My freinds tell me I have to give up, its over. I am hurt and confused, I don't know who is right anymore? my convictions and my love for her tell me to hold on, that it is never too late. But 3 years, and the papers pending delivery. I just don't know what to do? When do you just concede? I don't think she really wants to divorce, she has never said that's what she wants, only that she "has to" She has said things like "right now" and sometimes couples reconcile after years. But at the same time blames me for everything that has ever gone wrong. Do I hold on to my WAW?