No my h and I have been separated since October 2002. He actually moved out of our house December 2002 after I filed for d in November. The d never went through because he had numerous excuses not to sign it and in April 03 I finally decided the d was not what I wanted (though the d remains in progress). Began db'ing in June. My h has been up and down the entire year. He did have ow in April 03 but said it was not physical. He dumped her after I talked to her told her I thought h and I were working on the m. She said she'd not call him again and hasn't. H was too embarrassed to talk to her again cause I talked to her about him.
My h mentioned in c that on a scale of 1-10, he's an 8 for hopeful that we will get back together. He's at an 8 for his level of concern/love for me. He's actually more hopeful than I am. I'm more hopeful that God will show me what to do so far He's helped me to remain married.
Like your h he doesn't think I will change! Though at this last c he said that by January he will know what he wants to do.
When we went to get divorced on November 17, I actually thought he was going to do it. I came in asking for a continuance that he denied at first then after my attorney talked to the judge, my h said he'd give the continuaunce 90 days. I was floored because up to that point he'd been ignorning me, not returning any of my calls, had said some horrible things like I was getting what I asked for, that back when he moved out he was divorced, that he had feelings for me but had come to terms with the fact that he lost all we had together back in December. I felt so down and scared. Cried for 2 weeks since that outburst then went to court and he said no to d and we went to breakfast, then made love. Quite a drastic change but I had prayer warriors in the court room so God made the 90 days possible.
My h says he doesn't expect things to get fixed in these 90 days but he does agree that we need counseling. And so we are going at h's request. (though today I'm not sure if he went or not solely because it is individual counseling and not joint...I'll find out about 4:30p today) H said if things are going well then he has no problem calling off d in January. But I wonder what it means by going well? Is it me on the hot seat? Yes! I feel like I'm getting dissected by h!!! And he remains unchanged!!!
Well my c seems to think that as long as I change then my h will. That may be true considering that I have yet to make any real consistent changes except to stand firm on no d since April. I've been doing others (going out on my own, not calling him, not asking him out for dates, losing more weight (lost 35 to date), not being so easy to volunteer info, acting happy/upbeat around him, complimenting him, showing appreciation for all the little things he does) but it's only been 2 months since I really started those...my h is noticing though.
