The affair was over, wow, 11 years ago. My H can be a supreme, master, ufb (is that ok here?) deceiver and acts, appears, (you get the idea) like pure innocence so it does make it very tough for me. Over the years I have, from time to time, done all the normal things to check up on him and had successful heart to heart talks. However, there are only a few thingst that I'm absolutely sure about, like: the affair completely ended (he was sick of her, we moved 1,000 mi, got into all kinds of therapy, Retrovaille, etc). I have thought of things like putting a secret GPS on the car and when he gets as weird as he's getting now, I think about it very carefully. In this particular situation there's a whole lot of things that could explain his weirdness and I try to remember that before jumping straight to the idea of an affair.

When we get home, we are actually "back to the scene" of the affair and he hasn't been here for years (I have cause my D and GD are here) which of course is another reason for him to weird out, but when we do finally get home, now that the broken car is taken care of that delayed us, I have a therapist that I've seen for years, off and on, and I'll make an appointment for the both of us and MAYBE get some clues as to what this has really been about.

Back to your being perplexed by me, dear Puppy, (love your name smile ) I believe that if I handle myself well, I will either find out there's an affair, which will be painful but I will never be blindsided and hurt so bad ever again and I know what I will do, or, it will blow over and because I'm so annoyed with these antics, I will get back to some serious DBing so I don't bail on the marriage myself (don't want to do that even if just partially emotionally, really want a good marriage!)and I honestly believe that the later is more likely the case. Not much sleep here and not quite enough caffiene so hope it makes sense smile.


me: 57
H: 54
M: 18 y
Affair over on Dday: 6/99
Never split-up but it was a hard road
D: 38 GD:18
I forget so I come back here I know these principles are the way to go which ever way it goes!