I'm not sure how long it took my H to cave to the OW who had been trying to get him for yrs. I don't know if he just jumped in to it one day and slept with her, or did he fight the urge for a long time and finally could not resist the feeling that she was providing him with. He allowed himself to be in a sitchuation he knew had to be dangerous. I think he thought he could probably handle it-or at least told himself that. Unfortunately they were friends for a long time before the A. That made it harder for him to break it off completely. I think he thought that he could maintain some kind of friendship with her after he broke it off. He wanted to hurt her as little as possible. I told him he'd have to close the door tight and not leave room for any doubt. When I found out he had been talking to her I went pretty balistic on him and he agreed he had to break it off totally. He says he has not talked to her since. Yes...It's hard to believe and I struggle with it, but I'm trying to let it go. I need to have peace of mind. Your H needs that too it seems. I think you should reassure your H when he asks for it. It couldn't hurt could it? Rachael
