Newer Game- Moving Forward

[CD Bear]

Hey, Missher

thanks for checking in and having a look. I know you have your own trench, too.

I am going to give you one 2X4........cease all contact with goober's W.
Not good for you, it connects you to him and therefore the sitch. Interfere's with detachment.Other thing is that it WILL get back to OM and in turn to your W.
Don't care how bad she is hurting, sucks for her but she needs to do this chit on her own. You probably gave her advice on how to DB or whatever.....bad move.

Understood. And all I've done is given her some positive prompting to work on herself first. No mention of DB. She was already separated when I met her so she has already given up on him and GAL'ing. Our initial stuff was bad for detachment. All we did was compare notes so it WAS all about them.

Goober is going to be away at school?

School is local. But I just thought of something else. He'll be surrounded by tons of women his own age and younger. THAT could cause some "issues" cause he'll be experimenting with his ego and we all know he's "susceptible". Interesting thought. Play on the jealousy/trust question......

Yes you are seeing cracks, do not waiver in your approach.
Remember the smallest consistent behaviors will be noticed more than anything else.

I understand but for the life of me, being IN the situation, I can't see if I am being consistent. I'm just trying to stay TRUE to how I want this process to go. I need to LEAD. I know I'll be fine. I have my 'D End game' in view. I see myself back how I was 6 years ago...except with D.

You will be tested by her and possibly sooner rather than later. Be prepared, as she senses you pulling away she will try to keep you at a safe distance. She will move towards you.....stay resolute, it will be hard, you will see your old W and be tempted to cave in.....

Noted. Worried about staying calm and detached as I had a somewhat "soft" spot at the mediators. But again, that's how I felt it came off. You guys didn't think it was that bad other than not breaking the convo off sooner. I am getting better at this. I know that.

Make sure you do a "heart" check here and there. No anger, you are doing this out of love. Anger and snarkiness will come through without you even knowing it.

THIS^^^^^^^^ continues to be my biggest concern. In EVERY text or convo I worry that I am too cold. Too distant. Too "more of the same" in my manner. I gotta "smile in my head" and "be confident in MY leadership". It also helps to remember that I should stay 'empathetic' withoutbeing "melty". Tough line to walk.
Do you have ANYTHING to suggest? Wonka even pointed out the 'don't be a downer'. I have that 'neutral face" tendency.

That is a HUGE issue for me.

Thanks, Missher.