Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

We have MC in 4 hours, and I'll be honest that I'm nervous. The MC is meeting with us individually for about 20-30 minutes and thing bringing us in together. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I will stress to the MC in confidence:

- I do not want a S, and knowing my wife and how immature she is, a S would be the end of my M because my W refuses to face these problems head on, both hers and mine
- I do not want the old M back, and express to her the reasons that I do not
- I feel that even though my W is saying she doesn't "want to want to try" she is giving the opposite words and actions at the house when I pull away... she is coming to me. And, my W isn't sure she wants to leave. I would implore the MC to discuss the potential good that could come out of her working on the M while she stays.
- I am feeling like dropping the rope, and moving on emotionally from this situation.
- I have cancelled a business trip this month to TX where I have several ex-gf's that I know would be a high temptation for me to do something stupid knowing they would be available to me. I am quite fearful that since my needs are not being met, I will go outside the marriage to get them met. My integrity is keeping me from doing this otherwise.
- I must have transparency in this R if it is to go anywhere anytime soon. I will ask the MC her experience with this, whether it is permanent transparency, or a period of complete transparency. I know the MC is an advocate of transparency.
- I will not let my W control me anymore, and likewise I will not control her. I want the MC to give us the tools to correct that for the both of us together.