My story was on the successful threads as well. Made me feel like a hypocrite and a failure as well when I came back.
We've been separated 9 months and I thought things were getting better between us until the last vacation together when it all fell apart. My WAW has decided she is not coming home now.
I made a promise that I would not make next contact other than by email regarding finances and kids, and it's only been 3 days, but it seems like forever. Some days I have moments where I feel almost normal, but I still think of her the moment I wake up and literally all day long. I miss her terribly, but somewhere in the back of my mind I know I will be ok.
I give myself pep talks - I am still at home with my kids, I have a safe, job that pays well and I am appreciated there, I am healthy and financially ok. Of course, I want so much more from my life, but right now that's so much better than it could be.
I know I can't wait for her forever, but I also remind myself every day that there is 6 months before her apartment lease comes up for renewal and 2 years before we are going to sell the house and proceed with the divorce. At least, I have some time on my side.
The only thing I can do right now is give her space again, be positive and happy in front of my kids and see if she once again comes to me. But this time, if she does, I will know not to make the mistakes I did a few months ago.
It's a battle every day. But yes, we can do it and we can make ourselves better for it.
