CD, Sorry I have been MIA lately, just catching up. Nice to see that someone else on the board thinks you have a good chance of DBing your M. Good observation Wonka...:)
Like all the stuff you are doing to the house.
I am going to give you one 2X4........cease all contact with goober's W.
Not good for you, it connects you to him and therefore the sitch. Interfere's with detachment.
Other thing is that it WILL get back to OM and in turn to your W.
Don't care how bad she is hurting, sucks for her but she needs to do this chit on her own. You probably gave her advice on how to DB or whatever.....bad move.
Okay, done with that. Goober is going to be away at school?
If so, does that mean your W will be at his BIL's during that time? That will be awkward for her and them if so.
Yes you are seeing cracks, do not waiver in your approach.
Remember the smallest consistent behaviors will be noticed more than anything else.
The other thing on the TIME. Look at me, I am 14 months post bomb and still very much in the trenches. Not saying you will be where I am at in a year because you are doing things differently than I did.....I effed up for 6-8 months. You have not.
Steady said and was dead on.....you are DBing like you have been at it for a year or longer. It is hard for you to see the progress in your sitch because you are in it.....WE, Puppy, Steady, Grit, Wonka and anyone else can see it very clearly.
Remember, the TIME thing, it seems slow for you but you are actually moving faster than 90% of the sitches out here. It is all relative.
You will be tested by her and possibly sooner rather than later. Be prepared, as she senses you pulling away she will try to keep you at a safe distance. She will move towards you.....stay resolute, it will be hard, you will see your old W and be tempted to cave in.....don't. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT and GOT the T-SHIRT (T-shirt says DumbA$$ on it).
Remember, we know what she is going to do next....she is following a script, it is already written. You just need to stick to the plan.
Make sure you do a "heart" check here and there. No anger, you are doing this out of love. Anger and snarkiness will come through without you even knowing it.
You are doing great!!!! Keep it up. One more day until Little Friday!!!!!
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
