I called him twice today. It was about the kids both times. I caved and asked him to call me after Poker which he did. Why do I want him to call me when he really doesn't care if he talks to me or not??? Ok, so I called him. I just started doing 180's 2 days ago. The 2 main ones that I won't compromise on are: 1. making NO mention of the OW 2. I will NOT start any R talks
Those are biggies. I'm already feeling the repercusions from taking the heat off him. It's all coming right back at me and making me feel very insecure about myself. I guess better to have it out with myself than with him right? I hope to get to the place where I don't feel the need to call him. It can be demeaning when I can tell he's really not interested in talking to me. I seem to be rather masochistic in all this. It would seem to anyone watching my sitchuation that I must like this stuff he's dealing me. I keep coming back for more. I ask myself what are my REAL motivations, and as of yet, I have no good answer. Rachael
