Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Add me to the list of was here and thought it was all busted and I'm back again. The "fix" kept for 7 years.
Stay strong!
Dagny
Well....at least your 7 years beat my 4 years. I have seen a few posters here who thought they saved it only to come back again. I wonder how many of us there are.
It is so sad to be back, I was just searching to see when I first joined the board and was very sad to see jamesjohn had all my threads listed in the successful women thread. I feel like even more of a failure.
It is different this time. Last time we languished about 8 months in what I called "limbo-land" where we were just co-existing and I was walking on eggshells. This time we are just skipping limbo land and will probably soon be separated. His decision, I'm not forcing it, don't want it, but won't do anything to stop it. I have stated what I want, his decisions are his to make.
But we know we CAN do it and if we go through all these steps and don't save our M, we will save ourselves.
Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11 DB #1 4/2002-8/2003 Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out Living with OW
My story was on the successful threads as well. Made me feel like a hypocrite and a failure as well when I came back.
We've been separated 9 months and I thought things were getting better between us until the last vacation together when it all fell apart. My WAW has decided she is not coming home now.
I made a promise that I would not make next contact other than by email regarding finances and kids, and it's only been 3 days, but it seems like forever. Some days I have moments where I feel almost normal, but I still think of her the moment I wake up and literally all day long. I miss her terribly, but somewhere in the back of my mind I know I will be ok.
I give myself pep talks - I am still at home with my kids, I have a safe, job that pays well and I am appreciated there, I am healthy and financially ok. Of course, I want so much more from my life, but right now that's so much better than it could be.
I know I can't wait for her forever, but I also remind myself every day that there is 6 months before her apartment lease comes up for renewal and 2 years before we are going to sell the house and proceed with the divorce. At least, I have some time on my side.
The only thing I can do right now is give her space again, be positive and happy in front of my kids and see if she once again comes to me. But this time, if she does, I will know not to make the mistakes I did a few months ago.
It's a battle every day. But yes, we can do it and we can make ourselves better for it.
Sent WAW an email today regarding a few $$$ and kid issues. No response from her yet, but I have kept my promise to not contact her unless it involved those 2 issues. Usually I would use this as en excuse to call her and "temperature check", so emailing and keeping it very business like is a 180 for me.
Good Job! It is so hard to resist those "temperature checks", such an easy concept, but very difficult as the days stretch on. However, it is making these 180 changes stick that is so important.
Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11 DB #1 4/2002-8/2003 Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out Living with OW
I was having a decent night at home. S16 made Kraft Dinner for he and I. I haven't had that in a long time. I had drank a couple glasses of wine - goes great with KD. I rarely drink wine, but figured my WAW will never be back to drink it and it may as well not go to waste.
Anyway, D19 gave me the grocery money WAW gave her to give to me. I said "I wish your Mom would still come over on Sundays to make you dinner". She responded with something like "she feels uncomfortable around you".
That (and some wine) made me want to call WAW and tell her there is no need to feel like that around me. That we need to be around each other in some way, or family vacation at XMAS is going to be rough.
I managed to stop myself from contacting and am still forcing myself not to today. Considering she hasn't even responded to the email I sent yesterday, I MUST wait for her to contact me.
That we need to be around each other in some way, or family vacation at XMAS is going to be rough.
Do you really think she wants to go on vacation with you?
Why do you want to go on vacation with her?
IS this really letting her go?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
