Came home, W had went out shopping. I picked up dinner on the way home and called to see if she wanted anything, she said she would "figure it out herself." I picked her up something anyway because she hasn't been eating well lately. She came home about 30 minutes after we got home with some new nail polish and stuff, and I gave her the food. She seemed suprised I got her something, but she ate it. I didn't comment. I put my S4 to bed. Right after he was in bed I told her I was leaving to go to Lowes for some stuff. She asked what I was up to, took an interest in my plans. I conversed VERY shortly, just told her I was going to pick up a part for the lawnmower.
Came home from Lowes, went inside, got a couple beers and told her I was going out to the shop. I told her to enjoy her time alone. She seemed a little sad I wasn't spending my time with her. I went out and diddled on the lawnmower until 10:30pm. Came inside, took a shower. She came into the bathroom after my shower while I was brushing my teeth to show engage me with a funny internet photo, nothing she couldn't have waited to show me. She rubbed my back and laughed with me. I walked into the living room where she was. Asked if I could watch a show I recorded earlier and she gave me the remote. Watched TV till 11:30 or so. For that ENTIRE hour she was making jokes, trying to engage me, stuff like that. I was nice, but not talkative. Normally I'm the talkative one in our R.
She kept saying things like, "Why don't you think I'm funny?" I would respond with, "I do! That was funny" then go right back to my show.
She kept engaginng me, at one point she told me she waxed her legs earlier, and asked me to feel them. I did, said they were nice, and went back to my show. At one point I asked her if she finished waxing the "rest" of it. She said yes she did, went into details of how she did it less painfully, etc. I decided to make a bold move. I looked at her and said, "Let me see it now" in a very confident manner. She kind of opened her eyes wide and stood up, pulled the skirt up and showed me. I must say, she did a good job I took it a step further and inspected in hand and let her know that I thought it was a good job. Then, went back to my show. Got up after my show, and she asked what I was doing. I told her I didn't know yet. She asked if I wanted to go to bed. I asked her if she was tired, she said no. I don't know what do you want to do? I don't know what do you want to do? I donno what do you want to do? I just got up, grabbed a beer and started walking to our room. She yelled to me by her nickname for me and I walked back into the living room. She asked again if I was going to bed. I told her I was going to surf the inet or read or maybe sleep, not sure. She said, "Ok... I guess I'll be in there in a little bit"
Geez, if I had to categorize tonight, I would say SUCCESS. I hated the feeling of dropping the rope, but I like the rewards.
passive-aggressive
Do your work here.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
And I would give you a B for GAL and a D for pursuing.
Calling her to see what she wants for dinner?
Buying her dinner even after she said no?
Asking about if she finished waxing the rest of it?
She hasn't been eating well? (Care-taker role...she is 24 years old and does not need a father. She knows how to get sustenance and will not starve).
All of these things are pursuing.
Fair enough Guess I still suck at DB. You'll probably knock me for this too, but after I posted that I went and read in bed. She came in shortly thereafter to MY side of the bed and gave me a kiss, which was weird - she's never done that. She got into bed and said, "I wish you would have told me what was wrong with you today." I told her that nothing was wrong, I was just pretty busy tonight. She said, "Okay, it's just that you might have been acting different like something is wrong." I turned to her and said, "Nothing is wrong, see?" And I went confidently in for a deep passionate kiss and she was very responsive. I know, pursuing. But after all that I really felt in control, and I wanted to take control of the physical part of our R right now, if even for a small momentary victory lap.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I turned to her and said, "Nothing is wrong, see?"
She sees right thru that. You see right thru that. We all see right thru that. It's not honest and is detrimental to a relationship.
Something is wrong. She wants you to be honest with her and tell her what it is. It's not pursuing to bring up behavior that is a problem for you. So what is wrong, why were you so passive-agressive last night?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She asked if I wanted to go to bed. I asked her if she was tired, she said no. I don't know what do you want to do? I don't know what do you want to do? I donno what do you want to do? I just got up, grabbed a beer
she is going to think you are gay if you keep this up
I turned to her and said, "Nothing is wrong, see?"
She sees right thru that. You see right thru that. We all see right thru that. It's not honest and is detrimental to a relationship.
Something is wrong. She wants you to be honest with her and tell her what it is. It's not pursuing to bring up behavior that is a problem for you. So what is wrong, why were you so passive-agressive last night?
Agreed, that not being honest is detrimental to the R. It's not being transparent.
In all honesty, I didn't feel passive agressive at all last night, even though my words dictate that. I was very nice, all smiles, pleasant, listened to her and let her engage me - but I tried to just stop pursuing (not 100% successfully) when I was around her.
What was wrong last night? Nothing really. If I would have been forced to explain it to her, I might have said:
I am just tired of going after someone who is clearly in love with me, but doesn't want to work on the M. I'm just beaten and tired of feeling like I have to do all the work for the both of us, so I'm inclined not to do it anymore - but the character of who I am and the man I want to be will not allow me just to quit on our M. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to start preparing to distance myself from W emotionally (drop the rope) so I can preserve my own self. I love her, and I want to be in a M with her, but I'm starting to get a concussion from continually banging my head up against the wall when she says she loves me, kisses me, flirts with me, and stays with me. I love my W and our family, but I will not continue an emotional life like this without a committment from both of us.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Guess I still suck at DB. You'll probably knock me for this too, but after I posted that I went and read in bed. She came in shortly thereafter to MY side of the bed and gave me a kiss, which was weird - she's never done that. She got into bed and said, "I wish you would have told me what was wrong with you today." I told her that nothing was wrong, I was just pretty busy tonight. She said, "Okay, it's just that you might have been acting different like something is wrong." I turned to her and said, "Nothing is wrong, see?" And I went confidently in for a deep passionate kiss and she was very responsive. I know, pursuing. But after all that I really felt in control, and I wanted to take control of the physical part of our R right now, if even for a small momentary victory lap.